Why Parents of Twins need a postpartum doula

Why Parents of Twins Need a Postpartum Doula 

Guest Post by Elisabeth van der Wilt of Fruitful Womb

The saying is that it takes a village to raise a child. One thing I’ve learned in my career, this saying is very true. As a Postpartum Doula I’ve seen the need in new parents, the need for help in almost everything. But if it takes a village to raise but one child, how many villages do you need for multiples? 

The population of a village is anywhere from 500 to 2500. Meaning if you have twins you need 1000-5000, triplets is 1500-7500 and so on. I personally live in the heart of Canadian prairies. My local village has 300ish inhabitants, so that just tells you that certain people around the world don’t even live close enough to that amount of support.

If new parents who are having only one, or are on to a second child or more and they’re not getting enough support, can you imagine the difficulties of parents of twins?

And again, although the saying is popular, you don’t get that amount of people helping you when you’re a new parent. Regardless of twins or not.

In ancient times, our mothers and mother-in-laws would be there to help us, elders in a tribe, and all of that is no longer available to us. 

What is a Postpartum Doula?

Let me start off by explaining what my role is during this time of transition.

Doula is an ancient word from Greek times meaning servant. Although, we don’t go by that these days it primarily is someone who offers educational, physical, and emotional support. I’ve been a postpartum doula for a little over five years. In my opinion, I’ve always seen my role as a way to support you in your new adventure, and my main focus is to ensure that you are being cared for. 

Many times as parents you see friends pop back into your life or come over and they are only there to see the baby, hold, or feed them.

People tend to care more about the new shiny object (and those are your babies) but who cares for you? 

Did you know that it can take up to two years for your body to fully ‘recover’?

So not only did you just give birth (possibly go through a major surgery), you now also have a 24/7 job, and are learning so many new things.

This goes into my next question… 

Why do I need a doula?

You are Superwoman! 

I know that you maybe forgot it, but I am always here to remind you of it. 

While doing all the things maybe it would be nice to have someone who cooks you dinner, helps you learn techniques for breastfeeding, supports you and your choices, and helps tend to life where needed.

Most of my clients are still friends to this day, it’s a role that goes beyond just working together in just this singular moment in time, it can go beyond that. 

Let me paint you a scenario.

You just found out you’re having twins. Friends slowly find out and mention the amount of work that it’s going to be. You’re constantly getting negative outlooks brought to you, but no solution or offer of help has been in sight. 

One day you see someone mention online how they got a postpartum doula and how it helped them. You think it over, and discuss it during coffee time together. Suddenly, you’re having interviews with different women who will come over a couple times a week (or every day, or if you want night shifts so you can sleep), picking one is tricky but finally one just fits. You could have met under completely normal circumstances and you would have been friends. 

Finally, the big day happens and you send her a text that she can be starting her first shift in a couple of days once you arrive. Both of you are excited. 

After a few nights of support in the hospital, nurses and staff coming in almost every hour, the moment you arrive at home, you’re alone. Now if the babies are crying, someone isn’t giving you a hand, how is this breastfeeding supposed to work with two? One will start to cry while another just fell asleep. That first night is a shell shock, up many hours, and the lack of sleep is weighing heavy on all of you.

Suddenly, morning hits and you don’t even know how. You’re tired, you want to shower, and when did you eat something? Suddenly there is a light knock at the door, your doula has shown up to help.

She starts by asking you what you need right now, a grumble from your stomach chooses for you. She heads to the kitchen and starts to make you a warm breakfast, filled with nourishing foods to help your body in repair. She brings you a tray where you’re sitting with the twins as you feed them. 

She notices the living room is needing a bit of tidying and gets to work slightly as you eat, making herself handy.

The day passes and you have a warm meal and muffins in the oven, a load of laundry has been done, and you manage to get in both a nap and a shower. She heads home and the process begins again another day.

This is just one of many ways your story could go. Having twins doesn’t automatically mean you’re doomed. It means more support is needed.

So that’s just one way I can try to explain the need for a postpartum doula. I’ve done things that to some come off strange but it was the support a new family needed. Don’t be afraid to get the help you need. 

Even though you’re a superwoman, we all need a hand sometimes, together we’re stronger as that village unit. 

Guest Post by Elisabeth van der Wilt of Fruitful Womb

Reflection by Nicole

I truly appreciate Elisabeth sharing her expertise with our community. I wish I would have had a postpartum doula when I had my twins. If I did have a postpartum doula, I wouldn’t have been so utterly overwhelmed with my twins and 2 year old and I possibly wouldn’t have gone into a deep postpartum depression.

I highly recommend looking into postpartum doula services before you deliver your twins so you aren’t scrambling after delivery while trying to recover and adjust to your new twin mom life.

Why parents of twins need a postpartum doula

Founder, Professional Blogger at The Way it Really Is, LLC | [email protected] | Website

As a mom of identical twins and a son two years older, I have gained invaluable experience in the realm, and chaos, of parenting. With a Master's Degree and Education Specialist Degree in School Psychology, I spent years as a school psychologist, helping children navigate through their educational and emotional challenges. Now as a stay at home mom and professional blogger, I combine my areas of expertise to help you in your parenting journey.

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